good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
