i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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