So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
