I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
