It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
