I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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