Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
