go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
