You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
