I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
