third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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