that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
