areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have grass duct taped all over my body
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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