i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this boner is exhausting
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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