Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
