I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
