Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
