I hate all girls vehemently.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
