i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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