The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize