I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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