I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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