Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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