I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
