Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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