It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
