don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
