Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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