is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
