The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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