he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
