all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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