I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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