also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
