Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize