So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
