Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize