no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
