He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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