1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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