That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
