He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
