toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
