WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
