I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
