I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
