No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
please don't ironically join a cult
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