im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
