I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
