Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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