The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
