16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
