Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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