So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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