i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
