I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
