i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
