My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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