Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
