Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize