i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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