I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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